Hey, it has been 3-4 months since my last blog and so many things happened. And guess what - am back!! Am back in Malaysia, not in Penang tho', but residing in a slower pace town called Eat-Poh (Ipoh).. and just within the 3 months, I've gained 3 kgs. 3 kgs in 3 months can you believe it?... Geee... thanks to Ipoh, the sedentary lifestyle: Eat, Sleep, TVs, Work. Everything provided for, less of running around catching a bus, no need to carry medications to patients. Relatively slow, 2-3X or more slower than in Singapore. Feeling myself getting lazy, being couch potatoes after work, stuck at home and just indulge in food.. food.. food. No doubt Ipoh's food rank one of the top quality with creative variety in Malaysia yet the over eating and less workout activities contribute to my laziness and obesity.
The title of my blog speaks my sentiment today - am I in the autumn again? Spring has gone too far.. summer is over and here comes the autumn. Am trying not to be negative and get into murmuring and complaining spirit here, hopefully... It has been 8 months plus of married life, minus the 3 months separation in Singapore, leave to a total of 5 months of married life. The Bible said 2 shall become 1; it is not good for man to be alone, so here He create another helper out of man's flesh. The Bible also mentioned that those who marry will face many troubles in this life (1 Cor 7: 28). So whether married or unmarried, let us learn to be contented and find fulfillment in Him.
1 Cor 7: 34 continues, "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (NIV)
I guess I have been divided, concern with too much on the affairs of the world- the petty matters; trying to please my husband and putting him above all else?... and getting myself uptight and being possessive. I am just too difficult to be pleased? Am I grabbing things too tightly, unwilling to let go? Afraid I will loose something precious? What will happen if it is taken off me? Why would I hold on so hard.. can't I just relax and go with the flow? Am I trying to please others yet get myself bitter with the unresponsiveness? Is love a competition, definitely not but why I just can't stop being possessive?
Am still adapting. I hate changes. Am evaluating myself - am I being selective opening up. How long for me to get myself rooted in the new environment? Do I have an accountability friend here. Where is my focus then, is it just about me me me?... It's a choice to be happy. Find what makes me happy. Where is the songs in my heart? Will I able to sing it out loud without afraid it goes out of tunes? Why I cares so much of what people think and see? Can I just stop being so critical and negative. Find what is praise worthy - whatever is noble, whatever is true, whatever is pure, lovely, admirable - think about such things. Choose what you want to input and output in your life. Where is my focus, how far from Him... Can I get closer, a step closer. A conscious effort to draw closer to Him.. that is the most important task to do.
Taking some life inventory stock take - how is my soul today? Can I get over the autumn soon?
